


"I Love You Guys"

by bornforwar_archivist, Tali_Sarah



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-31
Updated: 2006-12-31
Packaged: 2020-03-14 15:31:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18950911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bornforwar_archivist/pseuds/bornforwar_archivist, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tali_Sarah/pseuds/Tali_Sarah
Summary: By TaliThis is a pointless fic. Starts nowhere, goes nowhere. Enjoy.





	"I Love You Guys"

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Delenn, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Born For War](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Born_For_War), which closed in 2015. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in March 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Born For War collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bornforwar).
> 
> Disclaimer: Don't own them wish I did. Waste of time suing you won't get anything more then $2 out of me, that's all I have.  
> This is a pointless fic. Starts nowhere, goes nowhere. Enjoy.
> 
> Write a story Xena story with these requirements:   
> 1) Must take place after 'Motherhood'   
> 2) Must be from either Gabrielle of Eve's POV   
> 3) Must have a Xena/Ares relationship   
> 4) Draco must be in it   
> 5) Ares must get drunk at some point in the story   
> 6) Gabrielle must get caught in a fishnet with Draco

How could she? I thought she was my best friend, my soul mate. We shared everything, love, friendship..........How come she gets the bed with Ares and I'm on the floor? Bitch! She said it was because there wasn't enough room. Well maybe if we kicked the big fat former deity off there would be room. But no in the words of The Warrior Princess, "He's wounded." Wounded my ass, the guy got drunk and stubbed his toe. So here I am, Gabrielle Bard of Poteidaia, Queen of the Amazons on the floor.

"Shut up Gabrielle!" Xena threw a pillow at me. Maybe I should have been thinking those things a little quieter not so verbally and not so close to Xena's ear.

As I curl up on the floor and pull the blanket they so nicely provided me with over my body, I didn't even get a pillow, and think back to how I got here.

*Athens, Earlier that day*

The sun was at it's highest and Eve was whining to her fullest. Xena had left us in the square to look through the stalls while she went to take care of some _important_ business. As it turned out Ares had gotten his sorry ass thrown and jail and had sent a note to Xena pleading with her to get him out. So Xena being the kind hearted, completely not attracted to Ares person that she is went to see him. She pulled a few strings, talked to a few people, cracked a few heads and managed to get them to let Ares go.

Now I thought that would be the end of it. Get Ares out of trouble and send him on his merry way. Didn't happen, he pulled the puppy look. Xena cracked, that much was obvious. I being the helpful woman I am brought up the fact that not even a week ago we had left him on a farm with plenty of chickens. He being the annoying ex-God he is completely ignored me and continued using the puppy look on my best friend. When I persisted he reminded me he gave up his Godhood, life, and family to save my Amazon butt. I was about to argue that he only did it in hopes of scoring with Xena when a bright piece of paper caught my attention.

At that point Eve interrupted with the news that she had just spotted who she thought was Virgil, and decided she was going to go and stalk him in hope he would feel special. Xena snapped out of the trance like state that Ares had put her in, and told Eve to be careful and have fun.

We then went to one of the inns to get rooms for the night. As it turned out there was only one room left. Xena, Ares and I had to share. I was okay with that, Xena and I had been crucified together not to mention a thousand other things to test our friendship. We would be sharing the soft warm bed. Ares was on the floor. Oh how naive Gabrielle, oh how naive. I should have know Ares would do anything to get into bed with Xena.

We all went down to the town square where the annual "We're all gonna get drunk" festival happened to be in full swing. During the next few hour I saw Virgil trying to hide from a very persistent Eve and Hercules partying with what looked like a female version of Iolaus. The last one scarred me for life. It was around sunset when I realized that both Xena and Ares had disappeared. Now Xena disappearing for no reason normally wouldn't bother me but I knew Ares would be close behind. This bothered me greatly.

~*~

To cut a long story short I met up with Draco. He strangely hadn't aged one bit and after all that mead he looked mighty good. Unfortunately he had some guys after him and after a small run through New Zeal........I mean Greece, we got caught in a fishnet. I had left my sais in town, the kabab stand was using them, we had no defense. Xena eventually found us, took the bitch long enough. She cut us down and we followed her back into town.

~*~

"I love you guys." Ares was hugging Eve, Virgil and few villagers he didn't know, but that were equally as drunk.

Eve had warmed up to the Ex God, forgiven him for his part wrongs and was happily calling him "Daddy". Virgil was trying to get it on with a mug of mead but when that rejected him he moved onto Eve. Now I knew Eve and Virgil were both losers, after all they were hanging out with Ares, but I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined what was to come next. Xena sat on Ares! That's right people, she claimed it was because there were no other chairs. HA! Why not sit on Eve? That's what children are for.

~*~

While getting ready for bed Ares tripped over Xena's breast plate and stubbed his toe. I swear the guy was smiling the whole time as Xena tended to his _injury_. I can still hear her now.

"Gabrielle, Ares is in pain. He needs the bed. You're a good person, I know you'll do the right thing." She had then thrown a blanket at me and pointed to the floor.

I had argued of course. Why couldn't we all share the bed like on the farm. Xena just gave me a look and Ares looked like he was about to cry if I came anywhere near him. It was then Xena told me about what my hand had done on that rainy night. Needless to say I had to go and disinfect it. By the time I got back Ares and Xena where all cozy in bed. By Eli's sake they looked like a bloody married couple. Both sitting up talking politely about their day, or maybe sex. I'm not sure, they stopped when I walked in.

So I took my place on the floor and went to sleep. Didn't take me long, I'm a good sleeper. Mama always said so.

~*~

_He came toward her, his big strong arms encircling her. His lips came down upon her neck._

~*~

"AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"I bolted upright. No, no, no! I couldn't be having erotic dreams about...........Joxer?

"Joxer's that good huh?" Xena and Ares stared down at me from the bed.

"What are you talking about?" I tried to play it cool.

"You were screaming Joxer's name, and it wasn't from terror. God Gabrielle you think I'm sick." Ares shook his head.

"OUT!" Xena pointed to the door.

~*~

So now I'm stuck out in the hall with nothing but images of Joxer in my head. Maybe I should go back to sleep. Those dreams weren't that bad.

 

The End


End file.
